Comparing Notes
“Saw the car. Thought maybe a friend.”
She was curled up in the corner of a couch and realized they were sitting in the parlor she had gotten lost in . . . was it just last night? Big overstuffed chairs and couches the color of Tara’s hair. She had gotten her sobs under control and was just sniffly and hicuppy. Her nose was all stuffed up and she thought she sounded like Minnie Mouse and Goofy’s offspring. Wait . . . were Minnie and Goofy a couple? She shook her head and sighed. “Thanks. I know it was the right thing to do. I know it’s for the best. It still hurts. I’m sorry I hurt her.”
“Will, give yourself a break. You didn’t set out to hurt her.”
Willow dried her eyes and took a deep breath. “You’re right. It was what it was,” she said, echoing Kennedy’s words. “It was nice. But Kennedy was right. Love, comfort, mutual pleasure . . . all good. But I couldn’t give her what she wanted. My heart and soul are – have always been - Tara’s.” She sighed. For a few moments they sat in companionable silence. She was only vaguely aware of the non-thoughts flitting through her brain. She broke the silence when she remembered how the day had started. “Oh . . . did you find anything in the library? Terese gave me a Goddess to pray to. Mati-Syra-Zemlya. She hears oaths and helps people keep their promises.”
“Coolness.” He said, accepting the change of topic, much to her relief. “Dawn found a little more on Iris and Juno. She came up with an interesting theory. You ready to head down and see if they’ve found anything else?”
“Yeah.” She said as she stood up. They walked downstairs but Willow hesitated at the library doors. “Do I look okay?”
He smiled and kissed her forehead. “You look fine. We’re your friends. We know what you’re going through.”
Willow smiled at him as they walked into the library. She really didn’t know what she’d do without him.
“Nothing. We need to narrow it down,” Giles was saying as they walked into the library.
“So it’s a bonanza of information?” Xander quipped.
Willow giggled as Giles shot Xander a withering glance. She was grateful that no one mentioned her tear-stained face.
“Hey you two! Tell us something not unhelpful,” Buffy said, looking up from the book she was looking at.
Willow quickly filled the others in on what Terese had said.
Buffy nodded. “Okay. So, Will’s got some meditating to do. Dawn, tell Willow what you’re thinking this might be and see what she thinks.”
“Okay. Well, I was thinking, you and Tara have this amazing bond. What if it really is Tara and she's somehow reaching you from another dimension? An alternate reality. Only she doesn’t know she’s reaching you or even that she can reach you. She’s reaching for help, wishing she could reach you and because of what
you share . . . ”
Willow stared blankly at Dawn, not quite comprehending what Dawn was telling her.
Dawn paced, seemingly trying to get her thoughts together. Her hands never stopped moving as she continued explaining. “See, Juno is the Chosen Guardian of Women, coming to their aid in seasons of distress. She protects the weak or needful.” Dawn returned to the computer screen to skim a few words before continuing. “Iris is Goddess of 1000 names, messenger of Zeus and Hera. She served a similar function to Hermes . . . you know, messenger of the Gods only Iris was the messenger between women and goddesses. She provides a bridge between the earthly and spiritual.”
Willow looked at Dawn with newfound appreciation for the kid’s mind. ‘No, not kid,’ she corrected herself. Dawn was a bright young woman whose research skills rivaled Willow’s own. ‘Of course, I did train her. I must have done a good job showing her how to simultaneously google and comb a card catalogue,’ Willow thought, giving herself a mental pat on the back. She’d always known Dawn was smart, but this was quite a theory. Was it possible?
“So it seems like maybe Tara is reaching out and you’re getting the signal.” Dawn finished in a rush.
Dawn’s face was flushed. Whether from excitement or embarrassment, Willow couldn’t tell. “I don’t know. I mean, I guess it’s possible . . . ” she said hesitantly. She didn’t want to get her hopes up but . . . what if. “Tara’s alive. Angel is alive . . . err . . . well, as alive as he can be, and somehow, what? The First won? I guess the question is how?” Willow stopped. Could it be that way? Could Dawn be right? If she was . . . no. There was no ‘if’. Dawn was right, it was the most logical logic that Willow had ever heard. It was crazy and scary but totally logical - and completely right. Willow could feel it – just like she’d felt it this morning. Tara was out there and needed help. HER help. How?
“Will?” Buffy’s voice cut through her thoughts.
“Dawn is right,” Willow said plainly. They all looked blankly at her. “She is. It all makes sense and I can feel it, Buffy. When I prayed at sunrise this morning, I felt a moment of peace. There was this moment when I knew I would know. I know, Buffy. I know.”
Willow nodded at Dawn. Several emotions played over Dawn’s face; triumph, vindication, and sadness. Willow understood; Dawn was proud that she’d come up with a plausible theory, but sad at the thought that Tara was out there alone. Only, if she was out there, she wasn't alone. Angel was with her.
Buffy nodded. “Okay. So we do what?”
“I don’t know yet. I think it starts with me trying to reach Mati-Syra-Zemlya and getting help to remember and keep my promise. Whatever it may be. Then Iris – hopefully to get a message to Tara.”
“Okay. Then what do we do while you’re working the meditation mojo?”
Giles cleared his throat and they all looked at him. “I should think we need to research both trans-dimensional spells and portals. We know portals and trans-dimensional travel are possible, but this may be an alternate reality. Something only Anya dealt with. Perhaps we could call on D’Hoffryn for assistance . . .”
Xander interrupted with an emphatic “No! No way!”
Dawn rolled her eyes and jotted down some keywords to assist with her web searches.
Giles gave Xander a conciliatory nod. “Right then. We must prepare ourselves for the eventuality that, while Dawn and Willow might be right, we may not be able to do a thing about it.”
Willow nodded sadly. “Giles is right. Much as I hate to think about that, he is. Let’s work on finding out if Dawn and I are right. Then we can try to work out the how.” She stood up and stretched. “I’m going to go pray while you all try to figure out if the trans-dimensional SOS is possible. Then we’ll need to figure out if it’s real. THEN we can try to figure out what to do about it.”
Willow walked out of the library, her mind reeling at the possibility that she may be able to talk to Tara again. She refused to entertain the thought of holding her again. As the doors of the library closed, she heard Buffy’s voice. “Giles, where do we start?” Willow smiled, thinking how lucky she was to have friends who were willing to spend hours and days of their time trying to help her. She hoped their efforts wouldn’t be wasted on what could possibly be a wild goose chase borne of her whimsy.