They had always been fun to play in but now she had a purpose, a reason to seek the rainbows out.
She no longer floated aimlessly, she had a destiny to fulfill. A mission from the goddesses themselves and she was determined not to fail. The messages needed to get through. Everyone needed to be in place and ready.
So now, she sought the rainbows out and reveled in each new tingle, each new revelation.
Soon . . .
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Contact
Tara was startled from her meditations. ‘W-what . . . was th-that real?’ she thought.
“Everything okay?” Angel asked, looking up from his book.
“I-I’m n-not sure. Th-this is going to s-sound c-crazy b-but . . . I think I-I think I just talked to Willow.” Tara couldn’t believe she thought it, let alone voiced it to Angel.
Angel looked at her. “Talked to her?”
“Y-yeah,” she said, encouraged that he hadn’t laughed at her. “She said she knew what the promise was and asked me to help her find me. Angel, I-I d-don’t understand. How . . . is it even possible?”
“I don’t know. Different dimensions, alternate realities, or . . . I honestly don’t know,” Angel said, looking concerned.
“What are you thinking?” Tara asked, recognizing the look as that of Angel not saying everything.
“I’m wondering if something knows we’re here but can’t find us because of the spells you’ve been doing and is trying to draw you out.”
Tara nodded. She had thought about that; had considered that someone . . . something . . . was trying to get her defenses down. She was suddenly very tired. “Angel, I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I’m so tired and hungry. I . . .” Tara couldn’t stop the tears that started flowing down her face. Her meditation-mares were getting to her. It had been hard letting go of Willow. Now, with Angel’s comment about her dreams, it felt like she was losing Willow all over again. Something was turning their love into a weapon and she just didn't think she could take anymore.
Angel gently put his arms around her, not saying anything, just letting her cry. After a few moments, she pulled back. “I’m sorry,” she said, “It’s just getting so hard. And now Willow is always here. In my dreams, my meditations, my nightmares. It’s getting hard not to let go so I can just go and join her.” Tara felt the tired wash over her. The past year had been so hard and she seriously didn't know how much longer she could hold on.
“I know. But we’ve survived this long for a reason and we can’t give up.” Angel looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing. “I tried to give up once. I asked Buffy to let me be strong for once. She told me that ‘strong is fighting. It’s hard and it’s painful and it’s every day. It’s what we have to do and we can do it together.’ For whatever reason, Tara, you and I survived. The Powers That Be usually have a reason and a purpose when someone doesn’t die,” Angel finished quietly. He looked at Tara for a long moment. “You need to trust me. There is a reason, a purpose, a plan. You can do this. We can do this. Remember, the gypsies said we were leaving soon. I don't know where, but gypsies are rarely wrong.”
Tara nodded. “I do trust you, Angel,” she said. Angel was right. For whatever reason, she had been spared on the day of the final battle. Angel had found her and she had survived for over a year. There had to be a reason. She couldn’t begin to fathom what that reason was and right now she was too tired to try.
“Daylight is waning. Time for our ‘ritual hiding’,” she said, remembering words Willow had used a lifetime ago.
Angel nodded and the two of them headed downstairs. Tara once again went through her nightly routine of casting the fairy light spell and locking the basement door while murmuring the incantations to seal the door and hide their presence. Once that was finished she lay down on her cot, Miss Kitty curled up next to her purring contentedly.
“Angel, thank you. I don’t know what’s coming, but I’m grateful you’re here to face it with me.”
“I am too.”
“Angel . . . ” Tara said hesitantly, unsure if she wanted to start this conversation.
“Yeah?”
“You’ve . . . you’ve done some dimension hopping, haven’t you?”
“Some. Yeah. If you count the hell dimension I was stuck in for four months,” he answered wryly.
“But there was another time, too, right? I mean, Willow said you'd gone to another dimension to save Cordelia,” Tara pressed him, alternating between wanting to be, and fearful of being, hopeful.
“Yeah. I did,” Angel said softly.
“Is it possible? Could Willow be out there somewhere?” Tara had to ask. She needed to know if it was possible.
“Yes, it's possible. But even if she is, there’s no guarantee we can get to her.”
Tara thought about that for a moment. “And there’s also no way to know if it’s her, my subconscious, or something evil trying to track us.”
“Right. And we don’t have the resources to research what it is. I think we just have to,” Angel shrugged, “wait and see.”
Tara sighed and closed her eyes. She was truly grateful for Angel's company. It had taken time but she trusted him, relied on him. She knew she wouldn't have made it this far without his help. She thought about dimensions and alternate realities, remembering Anya talking about them and smiling as she thought about the world without shrimp. She briefly wondered about the possibility of Willow being out there and, if she was, did that mean Buffy and the others were as well? Tara still didn't know what the promise was but was it possible that Will had figured out a way to find her? Tara swallowed hard to keep from crying again. Her head was so full of questions and thoughts she didn’t think she’d be able to sleep, but the emotional upheaval and her weariness took her to non-dreamland in moments.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Angel watched over Tara as she slept. He understood the feelings of hopelessness she was having but he didn’t want her to get her hopes up that Willow was out there. He knew it was possible and sighed as he thought about their situation. She was a pretty powerful witch and if their circumstances were different they might be able to dimension hop. But it would be almost impossible to hide. He thought about Pylea and how Fred had opened portals without knowing she had done it. They didn’t have any way to research where they were going so there was no way to guarantee they'd be hopping to a safe dimension. They could end up worse off than they were now.
If Tara had somehow reached Willow, did that mean Buffy was out there somewhere? He didn’t want to get his own hopes up. The chances that Tara was actually connecting with Willow were slim. 'Not impossible,’ he reminded himself, ‘but really slim.’ He closed his eyes, listening to Tara’s even breathing and Miss Kitty’s steady purr. He had changed his sleep pattern so he could be awake while she was; he still didn't sleep well at night, but this way he could keep her company during the day. He had to admit that he was fond of her. She was intelligent and thoughtful and still had a sense of humor despite their circumstances. She kept him going. If it hadn't been for her, he probably would have given up long ago. It was definitely unconventional but they were a family and he would do whatever it took to ensure they all stayed safe. He listened to the house for a long moment; no unusual noises. Tara’s camouflage spell was still holding strong. ‘Thank whoever for small mercies,’ he thought as he allowed himself to drift off into a light sleep; restful but vigilant.